The Situation:
Sabrina Zambreskie is the president of the Workforce Engagement Consortium. The consortium is a collection of local businesses that focuses on improving employee performance and morale. The consortium provides workshops and training, networking events, and business discounts.
Yesterday, Jen Askins called Sabrina inquiring about the consortium. The five-minute conversation covered the basics of the consortium. Sabrina decided to send a follow-up email to Jen to summarize the benefits of the consortium and encourage her to join it.
Task:
Review the following message. While retaining all the essential content from the original message, rewrite the message to make it more concise and effective. At a minimum, make at least three of each of the following types of changes:
- Changing I-voice to you-voice
- Changing passive verbs to active verbs
- Converting nouns or be verbs to action verbs
- Removing it is/there are statements